{"id":10855,"date":"2018-02-19T15:46:34","date_gmt":"2018-02-19T15:46:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.9deuce.tv\/blogs\/?p=10855"},"modified":"2018-02-19T15:46:34","modified_gmt":"2018-02-19T15:46:34","slug":"tomb-of-annihilation-tftpb-chapter-three","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.9deuce.tv\/blogs\/tomb-of-annihilation-tftpb-chapter-three\/","title":{"rendered":"Tomb of Annihilation (TFTPB) &#8211; Chapter Three"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Did you think I forgot about this?\u00a0 I didn&#8217;t, I have simply been dealing with bronchitis, the death of my father, and a kidney stone.\u00a0 But who gives a damn about that when we could be reading some Tales From The Plunderbund.\u00a0 I am you host, Kent.\u00a0 This of course was written my by good friend Eric.\u00a0 This week, I had 2 songs picked out.\u00a0 In tribute of a lady that we lost recently, and in honor of a game that Eric and I have been playing recently, I give you The Cranberries &#8220;Zombie&#8221;.\u00a0 Tomorrow, yes tomorrow a new blog is coming, I hope you know something about Sam B.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"The Cranberries - Zombie (Official Music Video)\" width=\"580\" height=\"326\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/6Ejga4kJUts?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Tomb of Annihilation<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Chapter 3 \u2013 Murder-Hobos Come to Frog Town<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Upon removing the second piece of the amulet from the alter, the adventurers could feel their minds attempting to be penetrated. \u00a0While most fought off the icky visions, Ethyl could not, and her mind began to flood with images of giant eyeballs leaking black fluid and more tentacles than can be found in the backroom of an anime convention. \u00a0Luckily, as Ethyl was from the underdark, such images were nothing more than an average Tuesday night for her. \u00a0She quickly came back to her senses, unconcerned about the horrific visions that had just been pumped into her head.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Needing to rest and regain their spells, the party headed back to the inn. \u00a0In the morning, before Xilix could take too many of his medicinal herbs, the party insisted that he tell them the location of his Emerald Enclave contact. \u00a0After searching through his notes for about 20 minutes, Xilix informed the party that they should meet with female cat-person Screaming Wind just outside the city.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">With a new goal, the party set out to meet Screaming Wind. \u00a0After leaving the city and traveling for about an hour, the group found themselves near a bridge spanning a ravine. \u00a0In the middle of the bridge the group could see a fish-man getting his butt kicked by two pterodactyl-men. \u00a0As the party stopped to debate whether the fish-man was the victim or the aggressor, a cat-person jumped out of the nearby trees and proceeded to stab the pterodactyl-men in the throat. \u00a0The fish-man thanked her and ran the hell away (because he was a fish and she was a cat).<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As all cat-people look alike to Xilix, he assumed that this cat-person was his contact Screaming Wind. \u00a0Luckily, in this case Xilix\u2019s casual racism happened to be correct. \u00a0At first conversation was slow, as Screaming Wind\u2019s accent (aka cat screeching) made it hard to understand her. \u00a0After acclimating to the horrible cat sounds coming from Screaming Wind, the group found that she was very happy to see them, as she had a job she wished them to complete. \u00a0Specifically, in the area of the jungle known as Molar\u2019s Throat, all sorts of bad shit was going down. \u00a0Most notably, the pterodactyl-men were being driven crazy and undead were starting to spring up all over. \u00a0If the situation didn\u2019t improve, the cat people were going to have to leave their village in the Throat. \u00a0Screaming Wind hired the group to find the source of the madness and stop it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For the next three hours the party stumbled clumsily through the jungle, rubbing up against all manner of poisoned foliage. \u00a0As such, the group spent most of the afternoon feeling sick and in a hallucinogenic state. \u00a0While the majority of the group was miserable, Xilix was in heaven. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As the hallucinogins began to wear off, the party came to a clearing where it appeared a cat-person and a half-elf were unconscious and trapped in some brambles. \u00a0Not sure if this was an illusion due to their hallucinogenic encounters, Tempest went over and started poking at the brambles with her spear. \u00a0Tempest and the party quickly learned that not only was the bramble patch alive, but the rustling bushes made it obvious that they were surrounded by a handful of other shrub-men. \u00a0\u00a0While the shrub men were all self-satisfied with themselves for pulling off such an ambush, they made the fatal mistake of ambushing a group with two magic users who just love to throw fire around.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Tempest, Xilix, and Ethyl set up an assembly line of murder. \u00a0In step one, Tempest would spear a shrub-man and pin him to the ground. \u00a0In step two, Xilix and Ethyl would burn the ever-living hell out of said shrub-man; rinse and repeat. \u00a0Meanwhile, as those three were disposing of the foliage, Compassion was trying desperately to save the cat-woman and the half-elf. \u00a0Thanks to his efforts, the cat-woman lived . . . while the half-elf was completely drained of blood. \u00a0At the end of the fight everyone congratulated Compassion for now having an overall victim rescue rate of approximately 15 percent! \u00a0Compassion just grunted at them as he prepared the half-elf\u2019s body for purification and burial . . . again.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Continuing their trek, the party came to the edge of the jungle. \u00a0From the tree line, the party looked out onto a field where six small and adorable frog-men were performing some sort of ritual around a pillar. \u00a0As the party bickered about whether or not to engage with the frog-men, Ethyl, hating conversation with the other party members, decided to crack open Volo\u2019s guide to see what she could learn. \u00a0Thanks to the guide, Ethyl learned many interesting facts, including that the frogs have a democratically elected republic, their favorite animal is the teddy bear, they poison everything they touch, and they are slavers. \u00a0As the party came to the realization that the last entry was particularly concerning, Tempest, using her monk vision, noticed that at least two of the frogs had seen the group but were pretending not to. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">With visions of a future life of frog-slavery in their heads, the group decided to kill the frog-men before that happened. \u00a0Realizing the party wasn\u2019t going to go down easy, the frogs immediately began trying to hide in the nearby grasses in the hopes of sneaking up on the party. \u00a0Seeing half of the frogs immediately disappear, Xilix cast a sleep spell at their last known location. \u00a0This resulted in the half of the frog-men that had hidden suddenly deciding it was nap time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">From there a fierce battle ensued, with the party engaging with spells, war hammers, swords, spears, and Tempest\u2019s famous \u201cheadbutt of caving your head in.\u201d \u00a0After the three conscious frog-men were dispatched of, the group went to the sleeping frog-men and proceeded to kill them all in their sleep. \u00a0While the group members themselves took very little damage, unfortunately for Ethyl, one of her spells backfired, causing all of her hair to fall off of her body.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After saving themselves from a grim future of frog-slavery, the group proceeded to loot the bodies and examine the pillar. \u00a0To their surprise, another piece of the Amulet sat upon it. \u00a0As Tempest collected the Amulet piece, the minds of the party members were once again assaulted, however, this time they were all able to resist being shown totally gross scenes of tentacles and ichor. \u00a0Upon examination the Amulet piece, Screaming Wind deduced that it was the cause for all of the trouble in the jungle, and she thanked the group for taking the Amulet piece from the cursed alter.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It was quickly becoming apparent that 1) the amulet likely had nothing to do with the death curse, and 2) bringing all the pieces of the amulet together might actually be a terrible idea, as it may summon some sort eldritch abomination. \u00a0Despite such concerns, they decided to press on with reassembling the Amulet.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Wanting to reassemble the Amulet and get it out of their possession as soon as possible, the group followed their next lead. \u00a0Specifically, they went to talk with Kelvin Venscion of the Order of the Gauntlet. \u00a0On their way, Ethyl insisted that they stop by the black market so that she could purchase a magical hair growth formula that had specifically been tested on animals and humans. \u00a0While Ethyl found someone willing to sell a \u201cmiracle hair growth formula,\u201d only time will tell if the formula will truly work (as opposed to just poisoning the heck out of Ethyl).<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Upon arriving at Kelvin\u2019s shop, the group explained that they were not there to buy any of the very fancy clothes on display, but instead to obtain information about an Amulet piece. \u00a0While disappointed that he would not be making a sale off of gullible adventurers on this day, Kelvin was nice enough to inform the party that the object they were looking for was likely part of a shipment being smuggled into the city underneath the sewers that evening. \u00a0In order to reach the most easily accessible entrance, the group would have to go to the harbor district.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As they traveled to the harbor district, everyone made sure to inform Ethyl that absolutely no hair was growing back yet. \u00a0Arriving at the harbor near the sewer entrance, the party saw four individuals standing in the middle of the street, and one standing off to the side. \u00a0As Compassion and Tempest went to speak with the larger group (at which point they had a very nice chat about sports, drinking, and floozies), Hertz went over and introduced himself to the loner in the corner.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The loner introduced himself as John Johnson, and explained that he and his compatriots were sell swords under the employ of Jobald, merchant prince of hirelings. \u00a0He advised Hertz that the party should go see Jobald about work in the future if they were so inclined. \u00a0Hertz thanked John for his advice and then told John that he and the party were about to travel past them through the harbor. \u00a0In a most friendly and cheerful way, John told Hertz that they had been specifically ordered not to let anyone proceed any further into the harbor.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Rather than immediately start killing innocent mercenaries, the group decided to head to Jobald\u2019s compound and request that they get special permission to enter the harbor district. \u00a0Upon reaching the nearby compound, Compassion told the gate guard that they were a mercenary party looking for work. \u00a0Always needing new recruits, the guard let them in straightaway. \u00a0Of interest, the guards at the compound were wearing uniforms that looked nothing like the uniforms of John and the other sell swords at the docs. \u00a0Failing their intelligence checks, the party thought nothing of it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Upon being ushered into the office, Jobald, a large human with a stern but friendly demeanor, greeted them all warmly. \u00a0As Compassion again explained that they were there for work, Jobald quickly evaluated the group\u2019s capabilities and offered them a job escorting a priest to \u201cCamp Vengeance\u201d to the south in the jungle. \u00a0The group accepted the job, but asked if the priest could wait two days while the party took care of other business. \u00a0After Jobald agreed, the party pushed their luck even further and asked if they could have special permission to bypass his sell swords guarding the harbor, Jobald responded, \u201cwhat sell swords?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Realizing they had been hoodwinked, the party immediately headed back to the harbor district. \u00a0Seeing the party return, the five \u201csell swords\u201d assumed a fighting formation and engaged. \u00a0The battle was tough, but the enemies were no match for our heroes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nearing the end of the battle, realizing that they should capture one of the bad guys to pump them for information about the incoming shipment, Hertz called upon the power of Talos. \u00a0Storm clouds formed, and electricity began pumping through Hertz\u2019s body. \u00a0Hertz pointed a single finger at John, who had survived the battle thus far, and told him and his remaining men to surrender or Talos would smite him where he stood. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While Hertz was focused on John, one of the last remaining sell swords broke away from Tempest and charged Hertz. \u00a0Hertz paid him no mind and allowed the sell sword\u2019s metal short sword make contact with his body that was infused with divine lightning. \u00a0Upon striking Hertz the sell sword screamed in unimaginable pain and was quickly turned into a pile of ash.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having seen what just happened to one of his best men, most people would have simply surrendered in the hopes of living another day. \u00a0But not John, he was apparently special. \u00a0Despite literally seeing his friend being smited by divine lighting for merely having the audacity to strike Hertz, John decided to yell, \u201cI\u2019m not afraid of your god,\u201d and he attacked Hertz head on. \u00a0A sound of thunder echoed throughout the harbor district, and where John once stood, only chunks of flesh and blood remained. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What will the group find when they enter the sewers? \u00a0Just how much vengeance is required to fill a camp? \u00a0Will Ethyl\u2019s hair ever grow back? \u00a0Find out next week on Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium! \u00a0<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>You can find us at the actual <a href=\"http:\/\/www.9deuce.tv\/index.html\">9 Deuce website<\/a>\u00a0where we have the archives as well as other content such as horror movie reviews, wrestling blogs, podcasts, and some other material. \u00a0We&#8217;re on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/9deuceblog\">Facebook<\/a>, on Twitter <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/Official9Deuce\">@official9deuce<\/a>, or Tumblr <a href=\"http:\/\/superkent92.tumblr.com\/\">@ superkent92<\/a>\u00a0or Instagram at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/official9deuce\/\">Official9Deuce<\/a>\u00a0.\u00a0 Share this, like this, write us an email with a question or a comment at <a href=\"mailto:kent@9deuce.tv\">kent@9deuce.tv<\/a>. \u00a0Hell, you can subscribe via RSS. \u00a0Facebook and the website are probably the best bets. \u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Did you think I forgot about this?\u00a0 I didn&#8217;t, I have simply been dealing with bronchitis, the death of my father, and a kidney stone.\u00a0 But who gives a damn about that when we could be reading some Tales From The Plunderbund.\u00a0 I am you host, Kent.\u00a0 This of course was written my by good [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10685,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3752],"tags":[3775,3759,3758,4148,4147,4150,4145],"class_list":["post-10855","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tales-from-the-plunderbund-consortium","tag-adventure-write-up","tag-dd","tag-dnd","tag-dragons","tag-dungeons","tag-fifth-edition","tag-tomb"],"yoast_head":"<!-- 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