{"id":11881,"date":"2018-06-08T14:09:12","date_gmt":"2018-06-08T14:09:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.9deuce.tv\/blogs\/?p=11881"},"modified":"2018-06-08T14:09:12","modified_gmt":"2018-06-08T14:09:12","slug":"tomb-of-annihilation-tftpb-chapter-seventeen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.9deuce.tv\/blogs\/tomb-of-annihilation-tftpb-chapter-seventeen\/","title":{"rendered":"Tomb of Annihilation (TFTPB) &#8211; Chapter Seventeen"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This week, I don&#8217;t feel like giving away too much.\u00a0 I will say that we learn a valuable lesson.\u00a0 That lesson is that zebras are friends and that lions are dicks.\u00a0 Don&#8217;t act like you was expecting something more profound.\u00a0 There&#8217;s also an evil monkey statue and a puff ball.\u00a0 There&#8217;s a lot going on this week as the quest to collect cubes continues!!!\u00a0 As is tradition, I want to thank Eric for writing this up.\u00a0 I&#8217;d also like to thank YouTube because I just wasted an hour watching videos instead of posting this blog.\u00a0 Fear not, I will share with you the videos that mattered most to me soon.\u00a0 But first, let&#8217;s have a video about a zebra and a video about a lion to kick things off.\u00a0 Seriously, the zebra video needs to be watched all of the way through for all of it&#8217;s genius.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Zebra - Bears\" width=\"580\" height=\"435\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/rfd8EcmFAZU?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=cfHAiIq-Yeo<\/p>\n<p>____________________________________________<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Tomb of Annihilation<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Chapter 17 \u2013 More Like Monkeys, Less Like You<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As the quest for puzzle boxes continued, the party found a disc-shaped rock surrounded by dying foliage. \u00a0When they lifted the rock, the foliage began to return to life, only to immediately die again after a small, black, puff-ball like creature sprung forth from the ground. \u00a0Upon looking at the party, the small creature ran away.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having had such great luck chasing a small, magical creature in the previous session, the party began chasing after the black puff-ball. \u00a0Once they had it cornered, Padre attempted to communicate with it to determine whether the creature needed to be purged of sin. To their surprise, the creature spoke broken\/squeaky common. \u00a0It turned out that the puff-ball lived in the rock, and that the party had stolen its home. The party attempted to negotiate intel in exchange for the return of the rock, but it turned out the creature had no information of use. \u00a0Not wanting to be jerks, the party returned the rock-home to where they found it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Underwhelmed by their meeting with the puff-ball, the party continued on, eventually finding the temple of the monkey king. \u00a0Thinking they should provide an offering to the god, the party split up to search for bananas. Despite being in a jungle ruin, between them they were only able to find one banana peel. \u00a0Not believing that to be a good gift, the party entered the temple empty-handed. As they had the peel anyway, on the way in Padre rubbed the peel into his skin, in the hopes the scent would improve the disposition of any evil monkeys.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Speaking of which, upon entering the temple the party immediately came face-to-face with a giant evil monkey statue. \u00a0After inspecting the walls of the temple, the party learned that they had to solve a puzzle to determine which giant, evil monkey appendage should receive a gift of water. \u00a0The puzzle required the party to determine who was the monkey\u2019s friend. After putting their heads together for a good two hours the party was able to unravel the clues and determine that the zebra was the monkey\u2019s friend. \u00a0They also learned that the lion is a dick.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As the zebra was represented by the monkey statute\u2019s right foot, Compassion took some of the party\u2019s magical canoe water and poured it over the foot. \u00a0Compassion then heard in his head a voice that can best be described as, \u201cthe type of voice an evil monkey would have.\u201d The evil monkey voice thanked Compassion for the water, but told him that if he wanted the puzzle cube he would either have to curse a member of the party or fight his minions. \u00a0While many of the party members are jerks, Compassion decided they are not they kinds of jerks who should be cursed by an evil monkey god, and he chose combat.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Compassion told the party to suit up as they were about to be assaulted by an unknown number of evil monkey minions. \u00a0Descending from the ceiling, four monkeys made up of mostly darkness and tentacles assaulted the party. At the end of the day, however, a monkey that is both evil and has tentacles is still a monkey, and the party handily wiped the floor with them. \u00a0Disgruntled, the evil monkey god statue offered up the puzzle cube.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">With yet another puzzle cube in hand, the party continued north to the amphitheater. \u00a0This was where Hooded Lantern informed the party that they would find the King of Feathers. \u00a0Still unclear as to what the King of Feathers was, they soon discovered that it was some type of magical ninja tyrannosaurus with bird feathers glued on it. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As the King was asleep in its new home, the party debated whether it was wise to mess with a magical ninja dinosaur. \u00a0To speed along the decision, Hooded Lantern nocked an arrow and shot the King of Feathers in the eye. Roaring in pain and enraged, the King sprang up, ran over to Hooded Lantern and bit him in half. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Engaging in Team Tactics Formation B-3, Padre and Compassion, as the heavily armored front-line fighters, positioned themselves in the entrance to the amphitheater to prevent the King from reaching the back line spell casters . . . and Tempest. \u00a0Safely behind their meat shields, Hertz and Xilix began raining bolts of lighting down on the King. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After finding his teeth were not sharp enough to penetrate the two front-liner\u2019s plate mail, the King, using his magical dino-powers, began to turn to mist. \u00a0It was his plan to cast <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Misty Step<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, teleport to the back line, and eat them. \u00a0Seeing what was about to happen with her Monk Vision, Tempest used the martial art technique <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hugging the Mist is Not Just a Metaphor<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and grappled the King while he was still in mist form. \u00a0With the teleport not yet complete, Xilix cast <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Counterspell<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, sending the King back to his original position.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even more enraged, and confused, the King began to gather the magical energies to once again cast <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Misty Step<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. \u00a0As the King concentrated on his spell, Compassion and Padre nodded to one another, as it was time to unleash the secret technique they had been perfecting over the past month, the <\/span><b><i>Compadre Cross Slash!<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Padre, with his great sword, jumped on Ducky\u2019s tail and was launched by Ducky high into the air, 20 feet above the King of Feather\u2019s head. \u00a0Compassion, wielding Bob the Battleaxe, jumped up from Ducky\u2019s head while positioned under the King\u2019s neck. As Compassion ascended, and Padre descended, the two met at the King\u2019s neck, where they proceeded to cut the magical ninja tyrannosaurus\u2019 head off from both directions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As the King\u2019s head fell to the ground, Compassion and Padre landed and proceeded to perform the pose they had worked on to follow up their team attack. \u00a0Unfortunately, as they hit the ground one of Compassion\u2019s horns got caught on Padre\u2019s belt and they proceeded to tumble to the ground. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">With four puzzle cubes in hand, what awaits the party on their quest to complete the set? \u00a0What new attack will Team Compadre innovate in the future? Will the party be haunted by the ghost of Hooded Lantern? \u00a0You know what you have to do to find out these answers and more!<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>____________________________________________<\/p>\n<p>None of these videos are relevant to the blog, but they all Kentertained me.\u00a0 So we have 2 Al Bundy compilations and the greatest player in Price is Right history.\u00a0 There, that should get the hits!!<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Al Bundy&#039;s Best Insults\" width=\"580\" height=\"435\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/rPbBLcZo894?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Best of Bundy   How Was Your Day\" width=\"580\" height=\"435\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/AFg2a5SC7BQ?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"The Price Is Right: The Best Contestant Ever\" width=\"580\" height=\"326\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/SEXXES5v59o?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>____________________________________________<\/p>\n<p>You can find us at the actual <a href=\"http:\/\/www.9deuce.tv\/index.html\">9 Deuce website<\/a>\u00a0where we have the archives as well as other content such as horror movie reviews, wrestling blogs, podcasts, and some other material. \u00a0We&#8217;re on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/9deuceblog\">Facebook<\/a>, on Twitter <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/Official9Deuce\">@official9deuce<\/a>, or Tumblr <a href=\"http:\/\/superkent92.tumblr.com\/\">@ superkent92<\/a>\u00a0or Instagram at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/official9deuce\/\">Official9Deuce<\/a>\u00a0.\u00a0 Share this, like this, write us an email with a question or a comment at <a href=\"mailto:kent@9deuce.tv\">kent@9deuce.tv<\/a>. \u00a0Hell, you can subscribe via RSS. \u00a0Facebook and the website are probably the best bets. \u00a0Thank you.\u00a0 Also, I don&#8217;t own the rights to any of these music videos, obviously.\u00a0 You know who the owners are and they deserve all the credit.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This week, I don&#8217;t feel like giving away too much.\u00a0 I will say that we learn a valuable lesson.\u00a0 That lesson is that zebras are friends and that lions are dicks.\u00a0 Don&#8217;t act like you was expecting something more profound.\u00a0 There&#8217;s also an evil monkey statue and a puff ball.\u00a0 There&#8217;s a lot going on [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":11768,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3752],"tags":[3775,4258,4260,4256,3759,3758,4148,4147,4257,4150,4254,1879,4259,4145],"class_list":["post-11881","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tales-from-the-plunderbund-consortium","tag-adventure-write-up","tag-al-bundy","tag-bob-barker","tag-compadre","tag-dd","tag-dnd","tag-dragons","tag-dungeons","tag-evil-monkey","tag-fifth-edition","tag-lion","tag-married-with-children","tag-price-is-right","tag-tomb"],"yoast_head":"<!-- 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