SPOILERS AHEAD<\/p>\n
Much like the original, we get 4 stories and a wraparound story.\u00a0 My first issue is how often they made Keith David say shit.\u00a0 Yes, we all loved the original with the dude saying knee deep in the shit.\u00a0 It’s like they knew how beloved that bit was and said “Hey, let’s just make Keith David say shit 50 times and people will love it! Now let’s make an Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen film where they are hilarious misfits who get hot chicks in their 20’s.\u00a0 YEAH!”<\/p>\n
1. “Good Golly” was probably the second worst segment that they could start with.\u00a0 This was so over the top, outlandish, awfully acted.\u00a0 This was actually incredibly difficult to sit through because of the acting, the material, and the overall stupidity of it all.\u00a0 I did like seeing the one doll from the original film make an appearance in this one.\u00a0 Still, they really went back to the well with another doll themed story?\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 I also have an issue with how the old dude treated the young black girl.\u00a0 I’ll get to that later.\u00a0 Other issues with this include picking up a book, pick a random page in the middle of the book, and have that be the starting point of the book.\u00a0 Unless it’s a book of short stories, that doesn’t happen in other books.\u00a0 You tend to start at the beginning of the book, not the middle.<\/p>\n
2. “The Medium” was by far the best story. This felt like the stepbrother to the David Allen Grier\u00a0segment from the original.\u00a0 It’s about\u00a03 guys that have dude tied up and want to know where he has hidden like 5 million bucks.\u00a0 Instead, the tied up guy antagonizes the guys until one gets so pissed off that he kills the guy.\u00a0 So they see a psychic medium on TV, think John Edwards.\u00a0 They decide to basically force their way in this guy’s house and force him to channel the dead man’s spirit to find out where the money is or else they will kill his wife.\u00a0 The problem is that psychics are great big phonies.\u00a0 Fortunately the psychic, he is able to channel a bunch of people from these guy’s past and this is so silly and over the top, but it worked.\u00a0 Eventually they get the spirit that they want and of course, he gets his vengeance.\u00a0 Everybody played their role great,\u00a0 but Bryan Batt as the psychic was surprisingly good given the material he had to work with.\u00a0 I think everybody did great with this one.<\/p>\n
3.\u00a0 “Date Night” has nothing to do with anything other than some agenda about sexism and how guys are rapey.\u00a0 This was absolutely unnecessary and had nothing to do with the “Hood”.\u00a0 These 2 guys got these girls on Tinder and go to the girl’s place.\u00a0 They are aspiring actresses and the one guy claimed that they were like casting agents.\u00a0 Seriously, people in the 80’s would have found this premise laughably stupid.\u00a0 People are not this dumb and naive now, and if they are, well, I won’t say what I want to say.\u00a0 Anyway, one guy drugs the girl’s drinks, then they carry them upstairs, undress them down to their underwear, and set up a camera.\u00a0 Well, if you’re going to tell this story, this girls would have been nude, so definitely not going for authenticity here.\u00a0 On the camera, the girls are invisible because they are vampires.\u00a0 The guys get eaten by a bunch of other “victims” or whatever.\u00a0 This was pure trash.<\/p>\n
4. “The Sacrifice” tried to be good.\u00a0 There is a good story here, but the way that they did it, ugh.\u00a0 I don’t want to be real and talk about why this failed for the reasons I explained in my opening paragraph.\u00a0 I fucking hate politics.\u00a0 Stereotypes are plenty here.\u00a0 The positives that I can talk about are the ghosts and their purpose.\u00a0 I liked that.\u00a0 I thought that was well done.\u00a0 I just wish they weren’t so heavy handed and this felt too similar to the story with the doll in the original.\u00a0 A racist powerful politician.\u00a0 What I like in some ways is that the ghosts are holding Henry accountable for quintessentially turning his back on the black community.\u00a0 In that regard, this did feel a bit like the original.\u00a0 This was the second best segment, but the Klan whatever, the ridiculous speech by Cotton (really, that’s the dude’s name), and just the overall ignorance of Henry.\u00a0 I loved Henry’s mom and the old dude that she brought to help.\u00a0 The mom was right, he should have been focusing on helping his wife in that situation. I liked that Medgar Evers was represented here.\u00a0 He’s underappreciated person when discussing segregation and civil rights movements. I just wish they didn’t go cartooney almost, toward the end, as the world was quickly altering.\u00a0 This felt like a cross between the evil politician and the crooked cops one in the original.\u00a0 Also, I am SHOCKED that there wasn’t a story about cops.\u00a0 I would suggest watching this segment because it’s watchable and good at times, but not great.<\/p>\n
5. “Robo Hell” is the wraparound story with Dumass Beach, or as the robot calls him: Dumbass Bitch.\u00a0 I know that was supposed to be funny, but the Dumass joke I feel belongs to The Shawshank Redemption.\u00a0 Once again, a self-righteous white guy gets what is coming to him because he’s racist and a womanizer.\u00a0 Oh, and in the end, he was in Hell.\u00a0 Yeah, even Keith David couldn’t save this.<\/p>\n
END SPOILERS<\/p>\n
I will break this down like any other film.\u00a0 Story-wise, it missed more than it hit.\u00a0 One good story and a second one was debatable.\u00a0 The first and third stories\u00a0were awful, as was the wraparound.\u00a0 The acting, once again, the segments that were good seemed to have the best acting, probably no coincidence.\u00a0 Fun or enjoyable factor, for me, was almost non-existent.\u00a0 If you call this film something else aside from Tales From The Hood 2, this movie wouldn’t even find it’s way on NetFlix, and they have some awful films on there.<\/p>\n
Finally, I have already had this debate, but I will make this claim.\u00a0 This isn’t close to a spiritual successor to the original.\u00a0 The original had morality tales and such, but in the end, it taught accountability for EVERYBODY.\u00a0 The first story goes so against that thought process.\u00a0 I will ask the question without providing an answer.\u00a0 If the young black girl used the N-word casually, quintessentially taking away it’s power, why does the old guy insist on continuing to provide that word with so much power and hatred?\u00a0 The second one was strictly a vengeance story, so no need for it.\u00a0 The third story didn’t belong.\u00a0 Thanks for the moral lesson of it’s not okay to drug a girl, and film raping her.\u00a0 The fourth segment is the toughest one to really figure out.\u00a0 Does Henry’s sacrifice stop Cotton from winning and removing some of the polling locations?\u00a0 I doubt it.\u00a0 Had they shown how his sacrifice had further implications, it would have really helped.\u00a0 Instead, it just made his wife happy basically.\u00a0 This was a missed opportunity, big time.\u00a0 Had they shown the implications, you’d have known that his sacrifice actually meant something to the black community.\u00a0 The idea was there, the execution wasn’t and therefore it failed as a moral story.\u00a0 The wraparound story, why did the one lady get killed?\u00a0 What moral was learned by her?\u00a0 Get your ass grabbed by your boss, but you keep working to try to provide for yourself and possibly your family, and that warrants death?\u00a0 That makes zero logical sense.\u00a0 A person who is getting mistreated by their employer shouldn’t have to fire just because their boss is an asshole.<\/p>\n
If you consider the original, each story a lot of relevance.\u00a0 Crooked racist cops, child abuse, racist politicians, and black on black violence.\u00a0 More importantly, the right people got punished in each story.\u00a0 Most of the story felt like it took place in the “hood”.\u00a0 It had a darker tone, the imagery set the tone better.\u00a0 This one didn’t have the same vibe.\u00a0 That’s just my personal opinion.<\/p>\n
I have really reached my N-Bomb limit for the year thanks to this film.\u00a0 Go ahead and drink every time that word is used.\u00a0 Or if watching with a friend, flip a coin and the other person drinks every time Keith David says shit.\u00a0 You’ll both be feeling good by the end.<\/p>\n
One final note.\u00a0 It’s sad that we’re in 2018 and people feel that we need films like this, and they aren’t wrong.\u00a0 I don’t know what the fuck happened, but this country has regressed in regards to racism, and that’s pretty fucked up.\u00a0 If you are a person pissed off at a race, perhaps think about what pisses you off, what the root of the problem, who the problem is, because it most likely is just a small percentage of the whole.\u00a0 The loudest people you hear tend to be the biggest morons in the room.\u00a0 Take power away from the loud idiots and put it in the hands of people that have everybody’s best interests in mind.\u00a0 America, get your shit together.<\/p>\n
Rating: 3.0 – I would give 1 point each for the second and fourth story, as well as Keith David. I’m sure some will like it more than me, some will hate it way more than me.\u00a0 This is as fair as I can be judging a film that I feel is beyond insulting to the original film that I loved.\u00a0 I hate to say this, but there’s a reason that this just came out and then became available on NetFlix without being advertised in any of those “Coming to NetFlix” articles, even ones specializing in horror.\u00a0(Edit)\u00a0<\/strong>I may have been too harsh on this.\u00a0 The first and third segment pissed me off.\u00a0 The first segment was so bad though, it’s worth a negative point.\u00a0 If I say that each segment and wraparound story is worth a maximum of 2 points, I would say that the scoring would be -1.0 , 2.0, 0.5, 2.0 (This was better than I gave it credit for), and 1.0 for the wraparound.\u00a0 I can’t give the wraparound higher because it didn’t work for me.\u00a0 I get that it’s supposed to be cheesy, but I didn’t like it.\u00a0 So final rating has been upgraded to a 4.5.\u00a0 I punished this film a little harshly for the first segment, which isn’t fair, but it was so fucking bad.<\/p>\n All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:<\/p>\n Universal 1440 Entertainment<\/a><\/p>\n Please go find a copy and support the creators.<\/p>\n I am doing a GoFundMe to help pay for the costs to keep 9deuce.tv up and running.\u00a0 I don’t make any money off of the site.\u00a0 I do it because I love it, but it is expensive at times, and I had to recently renew for 3 years.\u00a0 So I am asking any of my readers to consider donating if they have the extra funds.\u00a0 If you don’t, I get it.\u00a0 It would mean a lot to me.<\/p>\n https:\/\/www.gofundme.com\/keep-9deucecom-alive<\/a><\/p>\n
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