{"id":9128,"date":"2017-08-30T01:12:03","date_gmt":"2017-08-30T01:12:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.9deuce.tv\/blogs\/?p=9128"},"modified":"2019-09-11T16:08:21","modified_gmt":"2019-09-11T20:08:21","slug":"feast-2005","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.9deuce.tv\/blogs\/feast-2005\/","title":{"rendered":"Feast (2005)"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have seen this movie once before and I remember liking it. The cast is absolutely stacked. It has Jason Mewes of Jay and Silent Bob fame, Henry Rollins who has done a ton including Sons Of Anarchy which was entertaining, Treach from Naughty By Nature, Judah Friedlander from 30 Rock, Krista Allen and well maybe some other people that I just don’t recognize by name yet.<\/p>\n

So this is taking place at one of those bars in the middle of nowhere, about 20 people are in typically. The bartender is n awesome old dude. This is like a from Dusk til Dawn set up, only instead of vampires, they take on these hungry viscous monsters or aliens, I don’t know what you’d call them. On the plus side, there’s lots of gore, and it is presented in a fun manner, introduced us to all the characters, even telling us their life expectancy. I like knowing my cast of characters right from the get go. It’s very chaotic. As soon as people are all introduced, we get a death, some people hurt, and this was only the first wave of attacks.<\/p>\n

Shit, I didn’t even recognize the guy who plays Boss Man is Maynard from Pulp Fiction. Sweet! Gimp’s sleeping. Him and Zed were great.<\/p>\n

One chick, possibly the hottest depending on one’s taste, was just in bra and panties. That’s gonna be the most amount of pleasing skin we’ll see during this film, but no complaints. I mean sure, I always want more because I’m greedy, but oh well.<\/p>\n

So they are starting to barricade shit, and getting things figured out. I think 3 people are dead as of now, but not 100% sure. I really wish I had some slim jims and easy cheese. Do not knock it til you try it. It’s a LingFest specialty. Barring that, I want some McDonald’s breakfast or pizza. Horror flicks make me hungry.<\/p>\n

You can kinda make some guesses as to who will be in say the final 6 or 4 of this film. It’s like watching the Royal Rumble. You can also speculate how some may die. Like the mom will probably die protecting her kid. The bar owner, well he’s gonna die, but he’s gonna shoot them with his shotgun in a heroic effort. The heroine may live. Henry Rollins is too confident, so I’m guessing no. Jason Mewes may already be dead, I haven’t seen him in awhile. I gotta type and watch simultaneously. Hot chick, she’s almost guaranteed to die because hot chick never lives. Boss man and Judah, they are both big dudes, they have a target on their back. There’s a young dude in a wheelchair, I like his odds to live long but not survive, perhaps he has a sacrifice scene. The main dude Bozo seems like a good final candidate. Grandma, well she has very very few lines, so you know she’s expendable.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, I can’t tell you the outcome because then what’s the point? If you are a fan of the token black person in a horror film, as I am, well you can rest assured that he’s dead. I always want more black people in my horror flicks, especially when they turn the tables.I don’t care about other races, there’s not as much stigma. ALWAYS cheer the black people, you just have to Bo-lieve!!!<\/p>\n

This is a perfect set up for a horror film. When you want some mindless horror, this is perfect! It’s a familiar ideaa, a bunch of people banded together to take on something evil. You have fun, likeable characters. You have lots of death. You have good looking women, and a few rednecks. Perfection. It’s not going to win an Oscar, but it is enough to satisfy most people’s appetites. You can absolutely make a drinking game out of this movie.  Drink 3 times when someone dies, drink every time somebody swears, a gun is fired, or an insult is said. BOOM, I just made you have a very fun evening.<\/p>\n

Man. nobody wants Grandma’s help, but she seems like she is the thinker of the group.  Now the group is splitting up, because it wouldn’t be horror without that. Old man has a fucking machete. I need to get me one of those. It would make me feel safer in life. I need to shut up before this blog gets too long.<\/p>\n

Just finished. So Wes Craven, Ben Affleck, and Matt Damon produced this movie. What an odd collection. By the end, I got bored. It has a great premise, but some aspects fell way too flat. I enjoyed it, I will watch it again. I can’t tell you that I loved it. Another movie with strong first half, weak second half. That’s very typical moreso in horror and comedies I think than any other movie genres.<\/p>\n

I’m giving it a 6.2 and look forward to the 2 sequels. I really do want McDonald’s breakfast though.<\/p>\n

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I don’t own the rights to this picture or film. It’s from the film, so they are the owners, not me.<\/p>\n

T&amp;A Totals remain the same, but there was a rape scene (with a monster), so now I have to include that as well<\/p>\n

14 Bare breasts<\/p>\n

3 bare asses<\/p>\n

2 concealed breasts<\/p>\n

1 rape<\/p>\n

All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:<\/p>\n