9 Deuce
Well, I have had this recommended to me for months now by Cece, sooo, let’s see where this takes me. It has a solid cast with Justin Long, Johnny Depp, Michael Parks, and fucking Haley Joel Osment. Sigh. I’m already bummed out. Wallace (Long) and Teddy (Osment) are doing a podcast about a viral video […]
I am not looking forward to this. I don’t know how close to the original it is, but I’m going to try it. Michelle Trachtenberg is pretty at least. (2019 update: I know that another remake is coming out this year, and it looks significantly better than this tripe. It has Cary Elwes.) We start […]
Oh shit, Eli Roth is attached to this. Sigh. This guy, I assume his name is Martin, shows up, knocks on a door and is looking for Ana, but she doesn’t live here no mo. Sorta like Shaniqua. If you don’t know what I am talking about, look up Shaniqua. You’re welcome. He asks the […]
A foreign vampire movie. Gotta love Netflix. OK, it’s in black and white. A dude just stole a cat. He just walks a lot during this opening. Some kid asks him for money, and he’s like I ain’t got no money. Some old guy is a junkie doing drugs and owes money to this dude. […]
I have only seen this once. I don’t remember it well, but I liked it. And it has Vera Farmiga, one of my personal favorite actresses. Also, Peter Sarsgaard as her husband, and the great CCH Pounder as Sister Abigail. Where’s Bray Wyatt? We’re here. We start off with John bringing Kate to the hospital, […]
The obvious follow up to Orphan is The Orphanage. they are in no way connected though unfortunately. We see kids playing something like red light green light perhaps. This is clearly an orphanage, and the kids appear to have disabilities. The lady gets a call and one of the girls is gonna get a new […]
This has bad ratings all around. It’s about an American woman, on vacation to Bangkok, and she participates in an online game with dark secrets. Yup, this may be Pernicious 2. It’s on NetFlix, it’s 90 minutes. Fingers Crossed. This music is not doing anything for me, BUT at least they have a song, and […]
This is a unique anthology series. This opening is obnoxious, handheld nonsense. I remember hating it when I saw it and not giving it a chance afterward. There’s like 3 or 4 guys in a parking garage, they grab a girl and force her shirt up. We see a boob. Then they go to a […]
Well, can this be any worse than the original? Yes, yes it can. A hot blonde is in a motel with some Jason Statham looking mother fucker. We see her fake tits and his wang. Larry and Ayesha are private investigators. They are searching for some lady’s son. They break into a house. There are […]
Well, VHS 1 had some good short stories. VHS 2 had one ok one, but the rest was shit. This is supposed to be the worst of the 3. If this sucks, I am following it up with something good. Our first girl has a nice smile. They have done away with having normal-looking girls […]